While rushing around India during our last trip, we talked with our fabulous tailor and designer Aanchal Gupta. We have worked with Aanchal since the beginning of our SariKNOTsari adventure. When I first met Aanchal, her story and talent blew me away! Today I wanted you to meet my brilliant friend Aanchal as she shares how she followed her dreams and carved her path in the fashion industry by playing by her own rules.

Aanchal has been playing by her own rules since she was young. Originally, Aanchal was given the name Tripta as the family's astrologer told her mother that Aanchal needed a name that started with a T sound. (It is common practice in India to have an astrologer tell the family what sound the child’s name should start with to ensure a good life based on the child’s zodiac sign.) Thus, Aanchal went by the name Tripta until age five, when she decided to change it after playing with her uncle where he would tell her to “come here" or"go away” which translates to “aa” and “chaal” in Hindi. During this game, Aanchal decided to change her name; she confidently went up to her mom and said, “I will now be going by the name Aanchal.” Clearly Aanchal was destined to take charge of her life and play by her rules!

While discussing the story of her name, we soon discovered that the meaning of the word Aanchal refers to the palloo of the sari, the most beautiful part of the sari  that goes over the shoulder. It's almost like when she named herself, she prophesied that she was destined to be re-designer of saris. Still, we couldn’t believe the coincidence of being named after the very fabric that brought us two together.

Aanchal and I were connected through a friend who had helped my family and I plan our initial trip to India. We met at the Taj Hotel, the same hotel we had this interview, and she brought pieces that would have been considered "rave wear" in Canada--disco-style pieces with bright colours, unique tassels and detailing. I saw how beautiful her work and how talented a designer she was. I told her I would love to work with her, but the brand I had in mind would be more simple everyday wear, highlighting the beauty of the fabric through the simplicity of the designs. Look how far we have come! That small idea became carlahackettdesign as you know it today!

While we were in India, we noticed how Indian society limits women through dictating what would be considered an acceptable path to pursue, such as guiding women into more traditional housewife roles rather than an entrepreneurial path. While these social roles are constantly changing and evolving, women face a lot of opposition when pursuing unconventional roles or jobs. There are these same expectations for women in Canada as we are still breaking down walls to have women lead and pursue their passions without facing gendered barriers. As we become more mature and get older, we start wanting to push up against these barriers and expectations as we recognize how limiting they can be.

Aanchal shared that she couldn’t wear jeans as a young girl because her father thought it was not a “nice” fashion choice. Because Aanchal loved and respected her father, she followed his wishes; however, with age, she realized that in allowing him to have a say in her fashion choices, she followed his wants rather than her own. This is such a common experience among women, especially during girlhood, of often changing your desires to fit those of others. While reflecting on this feeling, Aanchal found that, with fashion as her primary outlet, she has made many choices throughout her life that have left her with a sense of “I know society wants this of me, but this is what I want for me.” 

Aanchal was the first in her family to enter the world and start working. Within her whole family, even extended relatives, no girls had left home to work and instead stayed in the house to support the family and help with domestic tasks; however, Aanchal fought to enter the world of work.

Aanchal told her father that she dreamed of going out into the world and working for herself as she already felt limited by the roles placed on her at a young age. She had to fight for her dream as her father was hesitant--he wanted to protect her. However, she was fortunate as her father recognized her potential and saw her true talent, eventually agreeing to let her go out into the world and work on the things she wanted to.

Aanchal decided to join the Fashion Institute and had a fashion show in 2001. For the fashion show, Aanchal was competing against designers from all over Dehli and Gurgaon to create a 60’s era design. Fashion, textiles, and sewing were all in Aanchal’s blood, as both her father and her grandmother loved to stitch garments as a pastime. Aanchal shared that she has become a great seamstress because, along with the courses, her grandmother would help her with her craft, sharing small tips that would make all the difference. For her piece for the fashion show, Aanchal was inspired by a Bollywood actress from the 1960s named Mumtaz. Mumtaz would always be wearing gorgeous styled saris, so Aanchal decided to create a 60’s styled sari design inspired by Mumtaz out of recycled fabrics and saris. Crazy to think that down the road, recycled saris would bring us together!

Aanchal presented her sari creation and won first prize in Delhi and Gurgaon, a tailoring and textile capital! Aanchal was so proud of herself (as she should be!) and shared that she felt she had to show her father that he didn’t make the wrong decision in believing in her and letting her go out into the fashion world. Fashion helped inspire Aanchal to play by her rules and create her destiny through her passion for design.

Aanchal has played by her own rules in the fashion world, but she shared that she has also carried this belief into her family life. When Aanchal thought about getting married, she knew that her dream was to continue working at her passion rather than step away to focus on her family as a housewife. Because Aanchal was already pursuing an unconventional career path, her father wanted her to have an arranged introduction when it came to marriage. There are two kinds of marriages in India: a love marriage in which a boy and girl meet and decide to get married because they have fallen in love. Or there is an arranged introduction where the families may say that your daughter and their son would make a great match, so they arrange an introduction. If the two are interested, they will be encouraged to marry, but if there is no connection, they will not go through with it. Having an arranged introduction comforts the families, especially the parents, as they know the partner and their families and thus have more confidence that their children will be cared for as they start their lives with their partners.

Aanchal’s father wanted her to have an arranged introduction to protect her from the possible struggle of finding a partner or family that accepts her life path. In India, a woman's reputation is very important. Aanchal’s father feared that, since she was the first girl to start working for herself, others would say, “Who would want to marry this girl” and Aanchal wouldn’t have the same opportunities for marriage, which would affect her future. To better understand this perspective on reputation, Priya shared a saying a friend’s father used to say when she was growing up, “if you go into a bar for a glass of milk, it doesn’t matter what you ordered, all anyone thinks is you went into a bar”, the moral being that even if you behave with righteousness, if you give people any opportunity to misinterpret your behaviour, they will. In Indian families, protecting one's reputation by being above reproach is paramount.

Despite her father’s wishes, Aanchal followed her heart and had a love marriage with her husband, Sanjay. Aanchal shared that, although her father did not support her decision, she knew it was best for herself, and in that way, she was playing by her own rules, not letting the fear of family or personal reputation hold her back. Although Aanchal does not primarily take on the role of the housewife, she succeeds in that too! She is a fantastic cook and can pursue her dreams in fashion while being an incredible mom to her family!

Before we parted ways so we could catch our flight back to Canada, we asked Aanchal whether she had any advice for women after learning so much from her journey. Aanchal shared that one of the main lessons to learn was not to depend on others to accomplish what you want. Women should be able to work, make decisions, and rely on themselves while working to achieve their dreams. Aanchal goes on to say that it is also important to pursue life not with an ego but with kindness, as though saying this is who I am, and I want to make sure that I am safe, happy, and can care for myself and those I love. Aanchal has such a down-to-earth personality, and her perspective on the world inspires us to keep following our hearts and desires rather than ignoring them for the plans others may have for us. We are so grateful to have such a talented woman be a part of our team and so happy that she had time to let all of us get to know her better! Aanchal is a woman who plays by her own rules in all facets of life!

Watch The Interview Here:

Julie Johnson is a librarian at a Catholic high school in a Cambridge and discovered the drag community while watching Ru Paul’s Drag Race with her son during the pandemic lockdowns. Since then, Julie has been inspired by how supportive the “sisterhood” of drag queens are to each other and the safe space they provide for people of all colours, shapes, sizes and genders.

My big takeaway from our conversation? When a person feels “fabulous”, that feeling is generated within them, which means it’s a feeling that should always be accessible to us if we are willing to see ourselves as fabulous every day. Also worth hearing is the advice that Julie shared at the end of our conversation.

Hope you enjoy our little chat as much as I did!

Thank you @ms.julie.johnson ❤️👑

Today Priya chatted with the talented and colourful Karen Thorn from @fibrehuntsville who also happens to carry carlahackettdesign in her store. Karen loves colour and has an awesome fearless style! Be sure to check out her boutique if you are ever near Huntsville, ON.

Today I chatted with Heather who has a 9 year old and a 21 year old, and who chose to move away from the bustle of the big city to life in a village with a “pet” horse named Coco. Her best advice—buy the shoes, and remember that work life balance is an impossible dream—something will always take priority for a period of time, and that’s okay 💕. We chatted about how life offers divergent paths and while those new paths might make you feel some discomfort, those paths are also opportunities. We also talked about shoes—those you wear in your 50s and those you look at wistfully, knowing you would never willfully teeter on those again. Heather is a member of our carlahackettdesign community called SOUP.

Find the link on our website menu

Play by Your Own Rules featuring Hamilton writer, Anne Bokma @annebokma. Anne and I met through mutual friends to create a fund-raiser for @bodybravecanada. Anne shares her journey to reaching “the other side of middle age” which she also writes about in her Hamilton Spectator column every other week. Thank you @annebokma for your authentic take on life, fashion and life in Hamilton.

In my continuing attempt to introduce you amazing people to each other, I would like to introduce you to Michele who you may remember from a recent episode of Playing  Dress Up. We chatted so much before that episode began that we knew we had to find a way to continue our conversation. 😉 

Today we chatted about mental health and the importance of sharing our journeys so that people who are coping with transitions in their lives know that they are not alone. (Watch the video to find out why Michele has a semicolon tattoo behind her ear.)

Later, we chatted about how life is a canvas – a fitting metaphor, seeing as Michele is also an artist  — and that there really are no rules in how you decide to paint it. Michele likes to sketch out her artwork in ink rather than pencil, so that it more accurately mirrors life: if there’s a “mistake” you get to find a way to turn that mistake into something beautiful that helps make the overall artwork more complete and real. We compared that to our Wabi Sabi collection where the flaws are part of the beauty, and nothing to get stressed out about. 

Michelle amazed me with the variety of experiences she has had in her life. I remarked that she was like Daenerys in Game of Thrones in that she could announce herself with a long list of epithets that include lawyer, social worker, politician, mother, artist, and so much more. 

Watch the entire video and know that you are just as special as Michele. I am honoured to know you as part of the carlahackettdesign community  ❤️

If you’d like to meet more people who are a part of our community, be sure to join our community group called soup, social organization of uplifting people. 

You need to follow us on IG in order to join at this LINK

Welcome to our latest episode of “Play by Your Own Rules” where Priya tries to give you a glimpse of the inspiring people who shop at carlahackettdesign. Today we chatted with Monique Campbell of @moments_by_monique who with us shared her passion for street photography and her “no-nonsense” authenticity.

Monique also spoke with Priya about her journey with breast cancer that spurred her to live life to the fullest. Her advice? Go get your mammogram!

One out of every eight women will get breast cancer and regular mammograms could be the difference between life and death.

Monique also pointed out that while medical professionals may assume that you would like reconstructive surgery after a mastectomy, the choice is yours. Monique plays by her own rules and is a proud “flatty” 💕

So many people joined into this conversation, clearly inspired by Monique’s vision and artistry.

Thank you Monique for your support of carlahackettdesign and for spending time with us this evening 🙌🏽

Watch the full interview here:

 

Priya:

When I was thinking about today and about chatting with you about how you play by your own rules, I think the thing that struck me as the most amazing is that—correct me if I’m wrong—but I would not characterize you as an aggressive, extroverted person. So a lot of times, when you think of somebody who’s like a game changer— somebody who’s going out there and you know, making a difference, banging down walls—whatever it is they’re doing, you expect that it’s somebody who must be very extroverted and fearless. And not to say that you are not fearless, but I feel like you are in touch with your anxiety, which we all seem to have, and despite that you have broken down walls. Do you want to talk about that a little bit? What are some of the things you’ve done to play by your own rules?

Sarah:

You are one of the most observant, empathic people that I’ve ever met and like I feel like you knew all of these things that you’re saying about me not just from me telling you but from our connections that we’ve had together. I really appreciated that about you. It’s almost like when you’re in your presence it’s like you can see how you navigate the people that you are around and like temper yourself to where they’re at, like meeting them where they’re at which I found really fascinating about you! So it’s so interesting that you noticed all that, and all that is very true. I don’t know how to say it but I’m an introvert and I’m extroverted also, but the extroverting is exhausting because I am forever anxious but I’m also I like a pretty intense daydreamer and observer of my surroundings and people and doing so many different things like so many different jobs, many different things like places with my markets and stuff, I’m always observing who’s represented, who’s missing, what feels good about a certain place, what people are talking about, about how they feel in a space so I think that all of that is kind like little bits and pieces of my experience that I collect to kind of put it back out into the world as an experience.

Watch the entire interview to hear about what it feels like to be an HSP (Highly Sensitive Person) who has ADD and in on the Autism Spectrum. Sarah shares her experience of how “noisy” the world is when the background noise is as loud as the foreground noise. 

Learn also about the dearth of lesbian bars in Canada, and the value of organizations like Fruit Salad Hamilton Edition to provide a safe space for the lesbian, non-binary, questioning, queer and transitioning folx.

What does Sarah like about carlahackettdesign? “It works so well with everyone’s individual style. You can find pieces that you can style in a way that really represents you and others can make the same piece represent them.”

Today we chatted with long-time customer Sandy Reynolds, (@sandyareynolds ) about wisdom and ageing and being our authentic selves. Like many of our customers, Sandy exudes authenticity and self acceptance.

I hope you enjoy this bi-weekly opportunity to meet some of our carlahackettdesign community through our “Playing by Your Own Rules” segment. If you’d like to participate in the Play by Your Own Rules interview series, feel free to message us 💌

Welcome to our inaugural episode of “Playing by your Own Rules” featuring Mira Mohan and Shefali Liyanage from @on.james.north and @sari.knot.sari

These two young women decided that they loved the neighborhood, and that they could devote some of their time and energy to showcasing all the exciting places on the street. They are just a perfect example of how people can create change and make their own rules about how the future will look.

The same can be said for their approach towards clothing. These young ladies are not bound by the rules of fashion that limited their parents and grandparents, rather these ladies dress in a way that responds to their own inner voices, and not the voices of fashion influencers.

This is the first installment of a biweekly series where we feature our customers talking about how they break fashion rules and social expections by making their own rules.